In regard to me saying something retarded :

"I'm pretty sure your giant boobs are taking over your brain." - M.

In regard to me saying witty things:

"You save that shit up in your wit bank and then think about the perfect time to use it, don't you? That's cheating. Wit is spontaneous." - M.

In regard to telling him I spent a friday night downing a whole pint of ben and jerrys because I was sad and depressed:

"thats something that i dont get though, nothing wrong with it. but women... they go to food when they are sad
when in a biblical sense it's what got us in the mess to begin with"-S.

"fuck you... what do u do when ur sad?" -E.

"jerk off" -S.       

In regard to me telling my boyfriend that my gyno's nurse was CLEARLY a butch lesbian:

"Is that allowed? Like what if my doc was a flaming queen and during a physical whistled, "Hello to YOU, Admiral Willy! Mind if I swab the deck?" - B.

In regard to us watching a "Every Kiss beings with Kay" Jeweler's commercial :

"I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with PBR's than Kay..." - J.

In regard to his thoughts on MapQuest

"MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my fucking neighborhood." - L.

In regard to wether he is listening when I talk to him:

" Sometimes I'm listening. I mean if you start the sentence with, I looked like, I wore, I'm going to color my hair...I'm not listening after that. Unless i hear the word fell, fall, slip, or hurt. Then it peaks my interest again. Sorry." - M.